The Inner Nasty Voice

A friend and I were having coffee the other day and she was telling me about her latest visit with her therapist.

Between having had a somewhat abusive childhood and a verbally abusive ex, she asked her therapist…”how to still the nasty voices in my head?”

Well, yes…don’t we all have those little nasty voices…not necessarily from abusive individuals but just from life itself…nasty comments from classmates, hurtful comments from teachers and others we looked up to,  nasty comments from work colleagues and bosses… how DO we still those nasty voices?  I was all ears on this one.

Response from her therapist…

a. Give your “nasty voice” a name…it could be a real person’s name(the boss, the     teacher, the classmate, the ex…or a made up one that instills nasty to you…)

b. Every time you hear a comment from the nasty voice…”you never do anything right”,”You look fat in those pants,” “You are a lousy (insert whatever here)”, etc.

Stop the voice right then and there…using whatever you need to…say their name first and then your comment…if you are a gentle soul, stop, go away, to the comment my friend needed to use…”shut the f… up!”  She used her ex’s name as her nasty voice…”Sam, Shut the f… up!”

You know, I thought that was pretty clever…we all have someone who is the epitome of nastiness in our lifetime and mine was a former boss…so for the past two days I have been doing this technique every time something nasty comes up…and you know, I do believe it’s working!  It’s shutting that monkey brain off and it’s letting me focus on what I need to focus on.

I urge you to give it a try…it may work for you or someone you love…and please let me know!

til next time…Eva




Worth and Worry

A friend of mine had recently written the following on her Facebook wall…”You are not your bills, your butt or your bank account.”

Definitely food for thought.  Really.  How many times do we base our worth and our worry on those three things?

I am certain guilty.  I worry about money and paying of bills. a. lot.  It’s kind of embarrassing in a way because I pride myself towards being a positive person in many ways…but money has a way of crashing down my defenses.

I’m well aware of the adage…what you think about, persists.  I am not fond of the monkey brain continually coming back to the same topic…”uh…that bill is/was due…and you don’t have enough in your account to pay it…uh…what are you going to do about it?”…over and over and over again.

There are several methods used to steer away from the monkey  brain…sometimes they work quite well…sometimes not.

* Thinking back to the Dale Carnegie classes I’d taken years ago we were advised to think of the worst scenario that we could  handle and accept that…and most often it won’t reach that.(so, are you going to die from this? …no…, will you be put in  jail for this?…no…, get fined via a late charge?…maybe/yes.)

* Then there are the different phrases you can say when that worrying thought crops up…

– I don’t have to think about that right now.

-Things have a way of working out, one way or the other.

-I’ve seen things turn around on a dime.


* Journaling your thoughts on paper often enables an answer to appear out of nowhere.

* Expressing yourself physically…go for a walk, put music on and dance around in the living room.

*A habit coach suggested a challenge to push the particular worry back…depending on how  often your monkey brain keeps coming back to it…can you keep from worrying about it for an hour?  Then two hours?  and so on up to 48 hours and longer.

*And although I put meditation and prayer last on this list,  they are where I go first.  Meditation to still my mind at any time.  Prayer to guide me and still my fear. (Archangel Michael has helped me many times).

Worry is a thief.  Worrying about anything robs us of our joy and our energy…in essence, our life.

til next time…Eva

Olive…the little gray cat

I smile whenever I think of Olive.  My friend has been foster mom for Olive and whenever she goes away, I take care of her cat children.

Olive came to the shelter as a stray…a wee gray cat infested with fleas.  What makes Olive so special is that her back legs are unusual…the one is much longer than usual and curls backwards.  The other one is straight with no knee cap. She also has a crooked tail.

When Olive walks/runs, there is a flurry of action with her back legs(remember Pig Pen from Charlie Brown?)  Her favorite thing to do is use the scratching post…actually she has taken over the scratching post…none of the others are allowed to use it anymore, according to Olive!  When I first saw her using it, she reminded me of Mohammed Ali using his punching bag!  If any of the other cats come close to the scratching post when she is there, they will get a swat.

Whenever you sit down, she will crawl up into your lap…look straight into your eyes and then pat your cheek very softly with her one paw.  If that doesn’t melt your heart, nothing will.

A dear little cat and they are now looking for her forever home…hopefully one where she can be the only fur child.  Someone who needs her love as much as she needs theirs’.

Hope you enjoy this little video clip the local SPCA put up today:

til next time…Eva


Summer’s Last Rose

007photo by Eva

Autumn for me is a bitter-sweet time of year.

On the one hand it can be a lovely time of year…the leaves changing to vibrant shades of red, yellow and orange(and the not so vibrant browns).  Various berries and nuts which have the squirrels and chipmunks gathering at a feverish pace.

Farmers harvesting their final crops of corn, pumpkins, potatoes and apples.

People decorating their homes with corn stalks, pumpkins, colorful mums, bales of hay/straw and Indian corn.

The weather becoming cooler meaning we need warmer clothes and blankets at night.

The nights become darker earlier and the urge comes back  to light candles again for the ambiance it offers.

Baking the treats of the season…using apples and pumpkin.

On the other hand…many of my bird friends will soon be leaving.  The butterflies will be gone for the winter.  My garden will become bare and brown once again.


These past few days I had been feeling out of sorts for some unexplainable reason and searching for reasons why…

Read about the full moon and how this particular one was significant for making goals and spirituality.  Sounded good and definitely going to look more into it.  but don’t think that was why I was out of sorts.

Thinking about the change of seasons and life in general…upcoming election in the US, general dis-ease of those around me, various drama from family members and friends…not that I have to absorb any of that drama and dis-ease…and I try not to for the most part…meditation and reiki help a lot in that respect.

I decided to take a pre-dusk walk down in my small garden…the butterfly bushes still have their fragrant purple blooms and in the early evening they are especially fragrant.  Spending some time watching the various moths and bugs on the bushes and breathing in the scent always calms me down.  Walking further and in the one part of my garden, actually this is my pet cemetery, there was blooming my last rose of summer.  A perfect deep red bloom and totally unexpected.  The fragrance was strong and musky and I kept breathing it in.  Deep breaths…as if my life depended on it.  And in a way, it did.  This single gift of a rose saved my life today…it gave me back my peace of mind and soul.  It is presently in a vase next to me and continues to give me pleasure.

May you find your last rose of summer…whatever that may be.

til next time…Eva





Mr. B

My client every other Monday is Mr. B…recently celebrated his 89th birthday, widower for several years now and one of his daughters and her cocker spaniel Freddy are presently living with him.

My work day there starts with a cup of coffee and a chat that lasts almost an hour.  I hear stories about his deceased wife, his children’s and grandchildren’s activities and accomplishments, the neighborhood, and the past.

Two weeks ago he went on his annual trip to the beach in NJ…a tradition that started more than 50 years ago…they would always go down a few times during the year but always on that particular week and the same motel.  The friends they made on that particular week had continued coming as well and it was a reunion of sorts every year.  They would keep in touch during the year and spend their “happy hour” out on the motel’s porch together.

The motel has been owned by the same family all this time.  The husband passed away years ago but his widow and daughters still run the motel with the grandchildren working there as well.  Every year the owner(now in her 80s) says to him, “Hope we’ll see you next year” and he replies, “as long as I can, I will be coming down”.

All of Mr. B’s children made it down there this time…no spouses or children allowed.  The siblings were grateful to just be siblings for a week and be all together again.  Days were spent doing what they felt like doing and dinners were eaten out together.  What remains of the week are happy photographs of them all.

Mr. B brings home boxes of fudge and it was chocolate peanut butter this year…with the exception of the little girl next door…his 4 year old friend who comes and sits on the porch with him and Freddy…she got vanilla marshmallow.  His neighbors on each side got fudge, the lady down the street(her husband used to be his best friend), the mail lady and lucky me, I got some as well :)  Even though I don’t eat much sugar these days, I will eat the fudge…in small doses.

Mr. B often says he’d like to go down in the Spring for a few days next year….and I hope he does…I hope he does.

til next time…Eva


Last Quarter of 2016

“It is never too late to be what you ‘might have been’ ”  George Eliot

Three months remaining in 2016.  Have you accomplished your aspirations for the year…health-wise?  wealth-wise?  spiritually/emotionally/relationship- wise?

With three glorious yet untouched months ahead, it’s possible to still achieve our goals…to some degree at least.

I’ve come to the realization that it’s all about our daily habits…difficult to get started with but once they’ve been ingrained in your daily routine, everything else seems to fall into place as well.

I’ve spent the past two days mapping out exactly what I want to accomplish but doing it in a different way than before.  The difference?  Well, instead of my old way of saying, “I’m going to lose 10 lbs before year’s end”, I’m saying, “ok, I’m developing these daily habits…which may or may not enable me to lose 10 lbs by Christmas but I realize now that the habits will become an ingrained part of me(hopefully) and achieve even more than the initial weightloss.

Funny thing about habits…this method can also work towards getting rid of the bad ones as well…not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, eating too much sugar, spending too much time watching tv or being online, etc.

It’s also about doing things slowly and consistently so that you don’t burn out and crash.  Case in point…I’d gotten a stepper as a gift from a friend of mine and we both aimed for the 10,000 steps daily.  Being competitive by nature, I was forcing myself to do the 10,000 steps daily and got up to 12,000.  Then my old Achilles injury kicked up again which led to my knee on that leg as well with months of pain.  This time, I’m aiming for 4,000 daily to start and build up…slowly…from there.

So, this time around, my daily health habits will be:

Oil Pulling…Skin Brushing…the 5 Tibetan Rites…Breakfast…Vitamins…and Daily Steps.

Mind you…I also have other goals to achieve and have written a detailed list for myself on them as well.

Do you have anything you still want to achieve by year’s end?  Please write a response and let me know…as well as any tips you may have as well!

til next time…Eva

Resisting the Pigeon Holes

“Put your awareness on the distance that you have already traveled in this one lifetime, and let all of your accomplishments sink in.  There is so much to come but there is always time to celebrate.” Archangel Michael channeled by Daniel Scranton 9/23/16


It’s interesting to decipher various messages we’ve received during the past week.  Society as a whole tends to pigeon hole us via sex, age, race, religion, education, wealth, jobs and social status.(plus the many more categories).  You’re “expected” to be and act a certain way in each of the above categories.

This apparently has been my week to experience the “age” category…and it has not been a pleasant one.

I fully realize that it has been a “youth culture” for quite some time now and having a 20-something daughter makes me fully aware of it.  Open any magazine and basically after age 50 you no longer exist in the  interesting  advertisements.  Anyone over 50 and the advertisements gravitate towards the “age-isms”…multi-prescriptions, assisted living, burial insurance,  medical alert systems, walk in bath-tubs, walkers,  stair elevators.  It’s as if you are automatically required to self destruct at a certain age and become weak, feeble and ill.  If you don’t have any strong role models, I can well imagine it is difficult not to gravitate towards it.

I hear comments from my age group that tells me they are buying into the old age- isms.  I have recently found myself mentally thinking of some of them and counteract it with a youth-ism.

I was recently forwarded a website/blog done by Ellen Wood by a friend of mine.  Ellen apparently had been a neighbor of hers when she lived in New Mexico years ago.  Imagine my surprise when I read a blog post by Ellen that she was originally from my hometown and that her father was the shoe repair man we used to go to!

Ellen is the author of a book(Think and Grow Young) and has a website/blog(  She is presently 80 and looks 50.  I eagerly have been reading her book and doing her suggestions…and I note that I am gradually absorbing the “youth-isms” again.

I will say, it also helps that I have positive role models…”Aunt Frances” at 103, Angie at 98, Mr. B at 89, Inga at 88…all of them still positive, vibrant, active and enjoying life the way they want to…not how society wants them to.  Resisting being pigeon holed…sounds good to me!

til next time…Eva