Resisting the Pigeon Holes

“Put your awareness on the distance that you have already traveled in this one lifetime, and let all of your accomplishments sink in.  There is so much to come but there is always time to celebrate.” Archangel Michael channeled by Daniel Scranton 9/23/16

 

It’s interesting to decipher various messages we’ve received during the past week.  Society as a whole tends to pigeon hole us via sex, age, race, religion, education, wealth, jobs and social status.(plus the many more categories).  You’re “expected” to be and act a certain way in each of the above categories.

This apparently has been my week to experience the “age” category…and it has not been a pleasant one.

I fully realize that it has been a “youth culture” for quite some time now and having a 20-something daughter makes me fully aware of it.  Open any magazine and basically after age 50 you no longer exist in the  interesting  advertisements.  Anyone over 50 and the advertisements gravitate towards the “age-isms”…multi-prescriptions, assisted living, burial insurance,  medical alert systems, walk in bath-tubs, walkers,  stair elevators.  It’s as if you are automatically required to self destruct at a certain age and become weak, feeble and ill.  If you don’t have any strong role models, I can well imagine it is difficult not to gravitate towards it.

I hear comments from my age group that tells me they are buying into the old age- isms.  I have recently found myself mentally thinking of some of them and counteract it with a youth-ism.

I was recently forwarded a website/blog done by Ellen Wood by a friend of mine.  Ellen apparently had been a neighbor of hers when she lived in New Mexico years ago.  Imagine my surprise when I read a blog post by Ellen that she was originally from my hometown and that her father was the shoe repair man we used to go to!

Ellen is the author of a book(Think and Grow Young) and has a website/blog(http://howtogrowyounger.com/).  She is presently 80 and looks 50.  I eagerly have been reading her book and doing her suggestions…and I note that I am gradually absorbing the “youth-isms” again.

I will say, it also helps that I have positive role models…”Aunt Frances” at 103, Angie at 98, Mr. B at 89, Inga at 88…all of them still positive, vibrant, active and enjoying life the way they want to…not how society wants them to.  Resisting being pigeon holed…sounds good to me!

til next time…Eva

 

Why we have Pets

WHY WE HAVE PETS  by Eva Andrew, 2016

 

There are some people in your life

Who don’t really care

About anything you have to say

Anymore.

The “safe” topics to talk about

Dwindle down to a paltry few

And you are at a loss.

Not really knowing how to

Regain your power.

The years passed so quickly

and you’ve forgotten whether

You ever did have power.

Before the Dementors took over.

Zapping your joy and your energy.

Not an easy power to regain

But you must.

One day at  time.

Eliminating one Dementor at a time.

Loving yourself first again –

Then attracting others who enjoy

being with you and who care.

Being cherished rather that merely tolerated

Once again.

This is why we need and have

Pets in our lives.

 

Case of Pot calling the Kettle Black…

An old friend of mine has gradually been gaining weight over the last 10 years.  We used to walk every night after dinner until she couldn’t anymore due to her job.

Gradually the health concerns arrived…sleep apnea, pre-diabetes, acid reflux, high blood pressure and then she started having trouble walking…knee and hip.  I was with her when she picked up a new medication…I read the side effects first.  “Have you read the side effects of this?”  “No, I never read them…they scare me.” ! ! !

I’d been telling my husband for quite awhile now that if she doesn’t start being serious and losing weight, she will develop even more issues. (Her doctor has been after her to lose weight for years now…she finally said to him, “if you don’t stop harassing me about my weight, I’ll have to go somewhere else.”)

Two weeks ago we went to our yard sales.  She’d bought a few items for her sister and we dropped by her sister’s house to give them to her.  Her sister had gained weight over the past two years and different issues have developed with her knees and hips.

We needed to go down to her basement for something…she was first…limping and hobbling, my friend was next…limping and hobbling, and I was last…did I mention that I was limping and hobbling as well?

As I am looking at the three of us hanging on to the bannister and walking carefully down the stairs, it hit me.  It really hit me.

Definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black.

Last summer, my husband had a health crisis.  At that point in time, I was just 8 lbs away from my goal weight…the closest I had been in over 20 years…closer to 30.

When I am anxious, I pace and I eat.  Since it was summer, I ate ice cream…mint chocolate chip…1/2 gallon in 2 days.

Not paying attention/caring, my eating habits reverted back to my former habits of eating at night, wheat products(the peanut butter cookies from Dollar General…a pack disappeared in one day) plus the ice cream.

It got to the point that after my husband would go to bed at 9 pm, I’d be at my computer and the thought “hmmm, what can I eat?” would pop into my head and I just didn’t think/care.

During the winter, I realized that my clothes were tighter and my winter coat didn’t fit like it had the year before…but it didn’t hit me.

In the New Year, I began having trouble with my Achilles in my left foot again and my multi times daily heartburn was back…and it still didn’t hit me.

March..my Achilles(I thought it was my shoes), my veins in my legs were hurting, heartburn and I was getting foot/leg cramps often.  Nope…didn’t hit me.

Until that afternoon walking down the basement steps…limping and hobbling after two  others who I have been saying they needed to lose weight…it finally hit me.

I’d been avoiding the scale pretty much all winter and spring…so it was not a happy sight.  Instead of being within 8 lbs of my goal weight, I was 30.  No wonder the Achilles, the knee, veins, leg cramps, heartburn and headaches.

I went cold turkey.  No gluten whatsoever, no eating after meals, back to my protein/vitamin shake daily, up the water intake, no ice cream…

Within 2 weeks, the heartburn is gone, 10 lbs disappeared quite quickly(am quite aware that is majority  of water weight and also from the gluten).  So now, it will be slower going…but that wake up call really hit me this time and I seriously don’t believe I’ll ever return to that point.

I really wonder why it took that long…and why that was the point…to finally realize I was just as guilty as I’d said my friend was and I couldn’t see it.

Now I am extra observant of other things that I am not presently seeing…is what we criticize in others what we are guilty of ourselves?

til next time…Eva

Differences in Perception

vintage print of dandelion

I don’t know why, but lately I’ve been really noticing how differently we all think and react about life.  Maybe because of the election year here in the US triggered it all or maybe I’m just spending more time contemplating that I used to…who knows.

The Dandelion print is a case in point…to many, the dandelion is just a weed…something to get rid of in any way possible.  To others, it’s food in the spring time and wine.  To another group it’s quite a magical plant…first that vibrant yellow and then the white puffy seed pod to blow and make wishes.

So, here goes:

1. Money. now I’m well aware this all depends on how much you have access to, charges, family history, etc.  If something in the home breaks, needs or repairs…or you are just plain tired of it.

Group A…immediately will go out/go online and purchase a new one or get a repair person.  There is no second guessing about it.  This is nothing to even waste time thinking about it.

Group B…they shop around for a while, save up for it or think about it but eventually get it somewhat quickly.  It’s a pain, an unexpected expense but not that big a deal.

Group C…having something break/or need repairs becomes a big deal and a hardship.  Many times it doesn’t get replaced unless one is found used or free.  This group does without or finds an alternative.

 

2. Gas…it’s interesting to see how various people react to the gasoline levels in their car.

Group A…if their gas  level edges close to 1/4 tank, they get nervous and put gas in.

Group B…the group who seems to find it a fun challenge to see how far on gas fumes they are able to go.

 

3. Food

Group A…the group who when you open any of their cabinets/refrigerator, there are multiples of every item.  They have multiple refrigerators and freezers.

Group B…the group who uses up what they have to the degree that many times the only item in the freezer is ice.

 

4. Clothing

Group A…the group who has kept every different size of clothing(just in case).  Boxes and boxes of shoes in their closet…and still has nothing to wear.

Group B…the group who has the “minimalist wardrobe”…a minimal amount of items and all color coordinated.

Group C…the group who have a large amount of clothing but it all fits, is coordinated into different types(work, dress, leisure) and shoes as well.

 

5. Decorations

Group A…the group who finds great joy in decorating for the seasons/holidays.  The whole house is decorated…inside and out.

Group B…the group who concentrates on one room and some decorations outside.

Group C.. the group who puts a decoration on the door and calls it done.

 

6. Cleaning when company is expected

Group A…this is the group who go through the whole house on a regular basis(or have someone clean for them) and are always company ready.

Group B…the group who does the basics…bathroom, living room vacuumed and dusted, and guest room if necessary.

Group C…the group who goes tearing through the room/house just before company is expected(or you see them pulling in the driveway) with an empty wash basket and dumping everything in there to tidy it up.

 

7. Appointments

Group A…the group who when they have to be somewhere(appointment, work, etc.) they are always there early…1/2-1 hour early.  The one who is waiting for everyone else.

Group B…the group who is pretty much on time…

Group C…the group who believes in the term, “fashionably late”.  The one who others are always waiting for.

 

It’s all about perception, isn’t it?  And if you and I have different perceptions(say the gas example.) we are not going to fully understand one another.  I’m the one with the fear of running out of gas.  If I edge towards 1/4 tank or slightly below, I get very nervous.  My daughter’s boyfriend finds it a challenge to see how far he can go on the gas after it reaches empty.

These cases of perception can sometimes make it difficult in our home/work situations…can’t they?  Guess many times we just have to think of that rule…don’t sweat the small stuff…and it’s all small stuff.

Have a good Sunday!

til next time…Eva

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Case of Giggles

014aZowie…photo taken by Eva

 

“I love to laugh
Loud and long and clear
I love to laugh
It’s getting worse ev’ry year
The more I laugh
The more I fill with glee
And the more the glee
The more I’m a merrier me”
(Mary Poppins song…I Love to Laugh}
   Remember the scene in Mary Poppins when they are visiting Bert’s Uncle Albert…who is floating up in the ceiling because of his laughter?  Eventually Bert and the children are up there too, laughing.  Mary Poppins is the only one still standing and still serious.
  I guess I could say that I take myself and life too seriously most times.  It’s not that I truly want to be that way and it’s not that I am negative per se.  I guess you could say I’m the serious/”sensible” type…where deep inside is that inner child who loved to laugh and have fun/do fun things.
   I read recently  that young children laugh/smile up to 300 times a day..wow.  I realize it’s all a matter of what we look at and whether we are open to it.  For the last couple of days, my horoscopes and other readings have pointed towards looking/noticing the joyful side of life.
   Today it started off with the giggles.  I’ve been sleeping in the basement on my Mom’s old sofa because it’s been too hot to sleep upstairs. On the small table in front of the sofa, I’ve had Zowie in her birdcage and she has it partially covered with a light cloth at night.
   I woke up this morning to find her on her bottom perch staring at me.  When she realized I was awake, she got all excited, flapped her wings and started peeping.  Giggle #1.
   I had work this morning and had arranged to meet at a friend’s house for lunch.  I told her about a sewing challenge I was doing for September – you are required to sew 5 items of clothing from the same pattern.  Since I haven’t sewn clothing in a while, it had to be something simple…so I decided on using my fabric stash for pajama pants.  She got a gleam in her eyes and left…bringing back a pair of her too-short pajama pants.  “Could you make me a pair…or two?”   Giggle #2.
   Got home and waited for my daughter’s daily phone call on her way from work.  She told me first that her boyfriend’s best friend broke up with his girlfriend…once again(this is the third time).  I commented that, yes, that was sad.  “Mom, you don’t understand.  That “Girl’s Weekend” I am going on this weekend…well, she’s riding in the same car I am.  Also, the concert we are going to, I have no clue who this band is.  And third, the birthday girl is the same age as I am but the other three women are all 47. It’s going to be a disaster!”  Giggle # 3   (“Mom, why are you laughing?  It is NOT funny!”  “It is from where I am sitting.”
   I was ready to take the garbage out after dinner.  I noticed that the neighbor’s dog “Barkley” was in my yard by the birdbath…barking at me, looking at his yard and then looking at me and barking once again.  I was confused for a minute and then it dawned on me that they have an electric fence and he didn’t want to cross it alone.  (self punishment is so over rated).  I got Benji’s old leash and Barkley eagerly went along with me over the fence…well, actually he pulled me over.  Giggle #4.
   4 Giggles in one day…so far.  And you know, it really felt good.  I do love to laugh and feel my eyes crinkle up and my mouth move to a grin.
   Lets hope it continues🙂
   til next time…Eva

Days when frustration levels are high…

I realize that many of us who are over 50 have difficulties with computers and everything having to do with them  because we didn’t grow up with that technology.  The “for Dummies” books even have a separate version for over 50s.

Combine any computer problems with limited finances and you have headaches.

My journey started in April when my USB ports “fried” suddenly for some unknown reason.  Nothing I tried worked and the only alternative was to buy a new computer.  My Windows 7 computer worked just fine otherwise.

With my need to download photos for my blog, etsy and ebay accounts…my daughter gave me enough money to purchase an inexpensive small thinkpad(which has Windows 10 installed).  That arrived last week and hope surged within me once again.

Nothing downloaded from my camera.  I thought I would need an adapter of some sort because it seemed the USB cord from my camera didn’t fit properly into the port.

On my way home from work today, I stopped in at Staples with my thinkpad and camera cord.  Apparently it fit ok so no adapter needed.  The technician inquired how old my camera was.  “Old”, I replied…(got it in 2004…guess we could call it a dinosaur at this point).

He suggested I go on the camera’s website(Sony) to see if maybe there were special requirements for the Windows 10.

Got home, went on to the website.  Whole list of camera numbers that worked…mine wasn’t on the list.  Was able to get a representative named Gladys on chat.

She verified my observation and gave me the suggestion to either downgrade my computer from a 10 to a 7 or buy a new camera.

So, back to almost square 1…5 months of no photos…guess now I start saving up and looking for an inexpensive camera to use.

I seriously wonder why I am being given these lessons right now…it’s all been a struggle.  Is the Universe telling me to focus my attention on something else?  Something else that I flow down the stream effortlessly and joyfully?

Trust me, that sounds like one lovely option right now.

til next time…Eva

Getting Un-Stuck

001Vintage Hallmark Picture circa 1987

Every once in a while, I find myself in “Stuck” mode.  Nothing in my life looks/feels good.  It’s that “dis-satisfaction” mode…or sometimes it’s the “sadness” mode.  The last week or so has been the sadness mode…when I find myself tearing up for no apparent reason…people, pets, events…all of which don’t normally trigger tears.

I thought at first…oh, you’re just tired.  It’s the heat.  It’s the new/full moon.

Life was just not fun, you know that feeling?

Well, after a week of this un-ease, I decided I had to figure out what the issue  was…and since I’m a writer, I write.  I’m sure there are many methods to do this, but I’ll share the one that works for me.

Sit down and get comfortable.  Have your favorite beverage beside you because this could take a while.  Be sure there are no interruptions…turn off the phone and let others around you know that you are unavailable for a while.  Be in a private space if possible.  This is quiet time between you and your higher self( or whatever name you call it…inner voice, guardian angel, God within, soul, etc.)

I use paper and pen but I guess it would work on your computer screen as well.

Breathe in, exhale.  Now you begin.

Ask your first question.  It can be concise or hazy…eventually you will realize that your thoughts become clear.

That inner voice will respond to your question…I find it responds with another question.  Then your response.  Their response…it feels like a tennis match at times…ping, ping, ping.

Here is an example of my latest session so that you can see how it works: (M is “me”, IV is “inner voice”)

M: I’m out of sorts.

IV: Why?

M: I don’t know.

IV: Sure you do.  How does it feel?

M: I’m tired.  I don’t have any ambition.

IV: Go on…more.

M: am frustrated.  Too many things aren’t going my way right now.  I’m discouraged. I’m stuck.

IV: Stuck?

M: Yes, Stuck.

IV: Where are you stuck?

M: In so many areas…at my age, I’m not where I thought/hoped I would be.

IV: Ok…dig deeper.

M: Stuck, stuck, stuck.

IV: Go on…give me specifics.

M:Stuck in my financial level.  Stuck in physical weight.  Job is unsatisfactory. My life isn’t  fun.  I miss my kid.

IV: I hear you…so, what are you going to do to get “unstuck”?

M: Baby steps.

IV: Ok…how?

M: Each area I’m stuck in, I’ll do baby steps to get myself out of them.

IV: Easier said than done.  So, how are you doing that?

M: Well, I’ll write down each area I’m stuck in and then write down various baby steps and make sure I do something every day and check it off.

IV: That sounds like an interesting concept.  Do you think it will work?

M: Well, it should work to get me moving a bit and maybe I’ll feel better about it and a break through will develop.

IV: Sounds good to me.  Get started then.

After this session, I had a renewed sense of hope and interest.  Got out the notebook and wrote down all of the areas I felt stuck in and baby steps.  (Since I never do anything half way, I had 12 areas that I felt stuck in/dis-satisfied in…a page for each).  Some have many baby steps, some have very few at the moment.  But, it’s a start and I feel energized once again.  If I get stuck in any one area, I simply will do this exercise again.

This technique plus the Dump list are two great ways to get yourself moving/motivated again.

til next time…Eva