How do you deal with miserable people? I find it to be really challenging when it’s someone in the household, friend group or co-worker. I used to feel that it had to have been something that I did or said…that it was my fault that they were miserable. Kind of a self abusive mindset in a way and this lasted for years.
And then, one day, not too long ago, I finally realized that we are all responsible for our own thoughts, feelings and actions. Yes, maybe you are having some negative things happening to you today, you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you got an unexpected bill, it’s cold and raining out, etc., etc., etc… But, and the big but is the reality that if 10 people see and experience the exact same event – each of those 10 people will see and feel it differently. So, “your” reality is not “my” reality.
I am not responsible for your bad mood. You chose to attach a negative feeling to something I might have done, or worn, or said, or even just being in the same room!
Dealing with miserable people takes time to fine tune your techniques. Sometimes its a minor situation that you are able to just smile at them and talk them through it. Then there are the real diehards – everything in life and you are wrong. In this case, I’ve found that the only way to deal with this type of person(again, it’s really tough when it’s a spouse, family member, friend or co-worker) is to send a nonverbal blessing their way and distance yourself from them. Miserable people drain our energy.
Do something you enjoy doing and keep your own vibrational level up. I’ve found that in many cases, by my keeping my own vibrational levels up, theirs’ improves as well. If it doesn’t, then at some point I have to make the decision whether to still keep contact with them…reduce the time you spend with them and possibly eventually you need to drop them. Spend more time with the people who make you feel good, the people who you can laugh with, have fun with and that when you spend time with them, your energy levels are high.
til next time…Eva