I had an interesting “aha” moment yesterday. Sitting at the kitchen table with my daughter’s boyfriend having coffee while waiting for her. It was a good chance to get to know him better.
I have the reputation in the family of being the “interrogator” and have often been told I would have made a great private investigator. I keep asking questions…it’s something I just can’t help doing. I think it’s something I inherited from my Dad because he was always wanting to know the “why”. Maybe not specifically with people but with events, how things worked, etc.
It seems that most of us tend to loosen up a bit while we are eating…as if the movement of the jaws activates the brain somehow.
I find him to be quite a multifaceted individual…different from the young men I am used to in the area in which we live in. He played bass guitar for a band for several years and toured many countries, US and Canada. Presently works in the same company as my daughter doing a job he hates. My daughter tells me he writes music and hopes to have it published as a money making venture. She helps with the lyrics. And lastly, he is going back to college in the fall…along with working full time. He is a young man with a lot on his plate.
As a parent, we have this tendency to want our kids to excel in whatever they set out to do. I’ve always done that with my daughter…always telling her she can do whatever she sets her mind to do. (and I still do).
I was talking with her boyfriend and asking him about his music writing…possible publication, maybe developing songs for a specific artist…maybe developing his brand and singing them himself…trying to be the way I’ve always been for my daughter. Then, out of the blue, he remarked, “you know, I would be perfectly happy if I could be in a band again…not the key player or singer but in the background…able to just play my guitar. When you’re the lead person, you have all of the publicity, the problems and the headaches. I don’t want any of that. I just want to be able to play and then go my way. That would be a perfect life.”
The “aha”. Finding some joy or our bliss doesn’t mean that we necessarily are at the top of the ladder in wealth or accolade. It doesn’t mean always having to strive to be bigger or better…forever “improving ourselves”. What it does mean is totally being in tune with yourself and finding out what really gives you joy. Maybe it is the aspiration of being the best you can be in your chosen vocation.
Have we been doing it “wrong” all along? This endeavor of being “the best, the smartest, the fastest, the strongest, etc.”…instead of reaching for finding what truly makes us happy…and not continually competing with someone else.
Is it as simple as finding out what comes easy to you? If you would ask someone you know what it is about you that they see comes easy to you? What is your “key note”?
This concept is forcing me to determine what my “key note” is as well. What “comes easy”…
Thank You Jay for this “aha” moment!
til next time…Eva