The Rules have changed….

photo by Eva 2015

photo by Eva 2015

Having been in the bridal consulting business for years and lately making florals in my Etsy shop gearing for weddings, I thought I pretty much was in the loop of bridal protocol…  well, apparently not.  This summer I have realized that while I was not looking, the rules have changed.

When you have a 20-something daughter, you start to see the engagements, weddings and soon babies coming along.  This past summer my daughter was in one wedding(of her room mate from college), attended an engagement, and attended an old friend’s wedding.  I also have heard of two weddings friends of mine attended and in a very short time, the rules have changed…

Ok, Engagements.  I personally always believed  getting engaged was an extremely private matter.  I remember when my husband proposed to me, we actually didn’t tell anyone for weeks…wanting to keep that sweet time very private and to ourselves.  I hadn’t gotten a ring yet because he wanted me to choose what I wanted.  The day we went out ring shopping and had our photographs taken is a special day I will always remember.

Now…the groom wants certain people there to witness the event.  My daughter just went to one last night in a theme park…my question to her was, “what if the girl says no?”  The public is notified immediately.  I often wonder if this doesn’t backfire sometimes…

Weddings…I was always under the impression that if I am invited to a wedding, then I am really wanted there.  I know, call me naïve in many cases…(now I am well aware of many weddings where the parents have business associates invited, that has always been the case…I still don’t understand that, but that’s another story…).  My two friends were both invited to weddings this summer…both of them told me that the gift amount depends on where the wedding reception is going to be held…and both of these women actually went online to see what an average meal at that venue would be…and based their wedding present on that.  I then asked, “well, what if you don’t have the money for a present of that amount?”  Both of their answers were, “well, then you don’t go.”

Being creative, I have always made my presents for the couple and I have always been thrilled to have been invited.  Many times I have just gone to the wedding and not the reception(especially those days when I was single…I just didn’t want to be at the reception solo.)

The sheer range of weddings boggles the mind sometimes.  The one wedding my friend attended this summer in a very posh venue spent more on their flowers than many weddings have as a budget. This wedding was planned for two years . Went to Europe for their honeymoon.    A wedding my daughter went to of an old school friend…they got engaged on Valentines’ Day(in a raging snowstorm) and got married 4 months later.  Married at the church and had reception in church hall…all food made by the guests potluck.  The groom picked the flowers for the bride’s bouquet and his boutonniere.  Went camping for the honeymoon.  Both couples seem very happy.  I wish them all well and hope their marriages will last.

I know the rules will change again…and I will be waiting…

til next time…Eva

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