The Inferiority Bug

“Envy suggests inferiority.”  Wayne Gerald Trotman

“Inferiority complex begins when you agree you are nothing.  No one is responsible or author of it except yourself.”  Dr. Paul Gitwaza

“In essence, you are neither inferior nor superior to anyone.”  Eckhart Tolle

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I found myself going through a bit of an inferiority complex a little while ago…it started with a long awaited bus trip to St. Michaels in Maryland(on the Chesapeake).  I had done research and found out it was known as the Hamptons on the Chesapeake.

I “knew” I didn’t have the “right” clothing and wore what I had.  The people I saw there wore a variety of classic khaki shorts, blue and white striped tops, sundresses, and nautical wear.  My friend even made the comment to me of, “I can’t believe you wore long black pants here.” with my retort, “I wore what I had.”  I was not the only one with black pants…(there was one other person 🙂

Then the week after, I had an invitation to a “Ladies’ Night Out’ in my local area.  It is an annual event and I’d never been invited before.  I’d seen the names of some of the women and they were all in a much higher financial bracket than I am…I decided I needed a haircut to “boost” my confidence and during the week concentrated on my hair color technique using coffee(since doing research on the toxicity of hair dyes, I’d started using coffee…it’s just a lengthier process).

I had intentions of getting something new to wear from the thrift store but the haircut had basically taken the funds for clothing, so I went through what I had.  My jewelry provided the necessary doctoring up.  My husband told me I looked “very artsy, very smart”…so that’s how I went.

We each had to bring something for the buffet table…I made mini cheesecakes.

I got there, recognized a few of the 50 women there.  Chatted with a few.  Actually had one woman tell me how gorgeous my hair was and where did I go?  And could I tell her the name of my “haircolor”(I told her the name of it was “Coffee”.  “Oh, it looks so lovely – so natural”.  That made my night.

When people would ask what I do, I told them I was a writer(no more telling people I cleaned houses as my “day job”.)  I came home feeling much better and calmer than when I left and for the past week I’ve been wondering why all of the sudden I would have the “inferiority bug”?

My “inferiority bug” is a green money bug.  It’s envy/jealousy in its’ purest form.  I have been feeling this belief that I wasn’t good enough or fit in because I didn’t have the wealth I’d perceive they have.

Pondering more on this, I remembered my dear mother would have this bug every now and then too.  Those would be the times she would spend extra time on self care.  If she liked the way she looked, it changed her outlook.  Lipstick and scent gave her strength and courage.

Do you have an inferiority bug of some kind?  Several people I have known have the “I never graduated from college” bug.  It’s their “go to ” bug whenever they respond to possibly not applying for a specific job or many goals in life.

Several “bugs” I have noticed over the years are the following:

I am not good enough because…

a. I never have enough money

b. I never graduated from college/went to college

c. I had a dysfunctional childhood

d. I’m not in a relationship

e. I had an unhappy marriage

f. I’m too old

g. My family/children live too far away

h. I went bankrupt

i. (fill in your own…)

 

All of the “bugs” stem from an “I’m not good enough” belief system and relying on the approval of others.  We rely on others for our validation instead of listening inward.

I’m grateful I had this latest flu because it forced me look inward and realize how utterly hogwash all of these bugs are.  How did I snap out of it?  I sat down and wrote down all of the things that make me the fantastic human being I am.  I keep that list on an index card and any time I feel myself gravitating towards that low vibrational level again, I read my list and buoy myself up again.

Wishing you “get well soon” if you have been attacked by any of these bugs.

til next time…Eva

 

 

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8 thoughts on “The Inferiority Bug

  1. Re-frame & re-label — it’s an inside out world! Love the natural Coffee bit. Still amazed how many people ask me where I get my hair “done,” like 60-some years of brown/black/red iced with silver is something I could pay to get from a stylist somewhere. And glad to hear you’re claiming the writer in you, but don’t forget the “house cleaner” is actually more of a care-giver, re-organizer, and Reiki energy spreader most days. Domestic Goddess!

    • Yes, Jennifer…it is an “inside out world”. I’m just really beginning to understand that concept. Anything goes with hair these days, doesn’t it? As long as when we look into the mirror, WE like what we see…through our eyes. Domestic Goddess, eh? Hey, I like that title…I’ll use that along with Writer next time somewhat asks “what do you do?” ❤

  2. You should have been preacher’s kid. Clothes don’t bother us because we wore donations in the past. Picked an education that I paid for by earning $6.00/ week cleaning for a lawyer & taking care of their 3 kids. I still don’t have the clothes these women have but I use money wisely fit in due to education & family. You have the brains & are so creative. Just open your mouth &you’re way ahead. Love, Doris

    >

    • Thank you Doris for commenting! I never realized being a preacher’s kid meant donations of clothing…I guess it could go both ways regarding clothing…either it makes you more determined to make your own style or it makes you really not care. Thanks for believing in me. love you! ❤

  3. Yes, your essence is beautifully enough, inside & out. We’re all connected, we’re all equals, we’re all one, & we’re all love at the core. Funny, it takes a flu to strip away all our ego & society based shoulda-woulda-coulda’s and leave us to ponder our true natures without distractions. It’s a process, sweet Eva. It’s a joyful process with roadblocks of naysayers. I navigate my path by looking @ roadblocks (toxic people, societal norms, etc) as opportunities to grow into my true self…..and she is beautifully enough. Trust. Believe. You got this. I love you. ❤

    • Well stated, Ruth…it is a process and your comments regarding “roadblocks…toxic people, societal norms, etc) hit it right on the head. I’m grateful to have gotten this flu bug because it has enabled me to finally look past all the rubbish and concentrate on what is important in life in order to move on. love you! ❤

  4. I know of what you speak. I live with several different varieties of these ‘bugs’, and know how destructive they are. I think all but one of mine stem from my childhood, the last one comes from being ‘rejected’ by a friend who I loved dearly, but she went up in the world and no longer had a place for those people who weren’t on the same social scale anymore so she turned her back on them. Fortunately I wasn’t the only one, so I did have a step to climb upon knowing that it wasn’t just me she’d ‘rejected’ as not being good enough. However … it still hurts.

    Eva … you are enough. You are you and there is no one like you. No one else could be the Eva I have come to know and love. There are few blogs that I follow, so I make sure that the ones I do follow are ones which I can both connect with and feel the presence of the person the blog belongs to. That can only happen when that person writes and speaks with a beautiful heart and mind. You do. You, Eva, are enough.
    You make me feel happy, privileged, honoured that I know you.
    Sending love from my home to yours ~ Cobs. x

    • Awww Cobs…you warm the cockles of my heart 🙂 Thank you for your comments. I am sorry that you have had the inferiority bug(s) as well…well, all I can say is that old school friend of yours is the one who is missing out…you are enough my friend. ❤

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